HAVE SOME FUN !!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCHOOL JOKES

A: Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?She couldn’t
control her pupils!

Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t".
Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.

Teacher: I see you missed the first day of school.
Kid: Yes, but I didn't miss it much.

Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention?
Student: I'm paying as little attention as I can.

Teacher: James, where is your homework?
James: I ate it.
Teacher: Why?
James: You said it was a piece of cake!

Teacher: Why is your homework in your father’s handwriting?
Pupil: I used his pen!

Teacher: You’ve got your shoes on the wrong feet.
Pupil: But these are the only feet I’ve got!

A: What’s the difference between a teacher and a steam train?
B: The first goes “Spit out that chewing gum immediately!” and the second goes “chew chew”!

A: Today my teacher yelled at me for something I didn’t do.
B; What was that?
A: My homework!

A: What is white when it´s dirty and black when it´s clean?
B: A blackboard!

FOURTH OF JULY

Independence Day, commonly known as the Fourth of July, is a federal holiday in the United States commemorating the adoption of the Declaration of Independence on July 4, 1776, declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain. Independence Day is commonly associated with fireworks, parades, barbecues, carnivals, fairs, picnics, concerts, baseball games, family reunions, political speeches and ceremonies, and various other public and private events celebrating the history, government, and traditions of the United States. Independence Day is the national day of the United States (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Independence_Day_(United_States)

Check out these sites to have some fun and read a little about the US Independence!!!

http://www.holidays.kaboose.com/july-4
http://www.usacitylink.com/usa/
http:/www.usa.gov/Topics/Independence_Day.html
http://www.apples4theteacher.com/holidays/fourth-of-july/
http://www.history.com/videos/fourth-of-july-history

CRYPTOGRAM

READ ... READ ... READ!!!!!!

Hey folks!!!!!
Que tal dar uma passa pela biblioteca da escola e conferir os novos livros?


• Bats of the World – Gary L. Graham
• Brown Eyes – Paul Stewart
• Danny and Daisy – a Tale of a Dolphin Duo – Suzanne Tate
• Diego’s Manatee Rescue – Sheila Sweeny Higginson
• Dora and Diego Help the Dinosaur – Lara Bergen and Ellie Seuss
• Heidi – Johanna Spyri
• Katie K. Whale - A Whale of a Tale – Suzanne Tate
• Legends of Bikini Bottom – as told by anonymous sea-dwellers
• Lions at Lunchtime – Mary Pope Osborne
• Love you forever – Robert Munch
• Marvelous Mother’s Day Brunch – Jane O’Connor and Robin Preiss Glasser
• Miles and Miles of Reptiles – Tish Rabe
• Once a wolf – Stephen R. Swinburne
• Round the World in Eighty Days – Jules Verni
• SpongeBob, Soccer Star – David Lewman
• The Cat in the Hat – Dr. Seuss
• What’s the Matter, Habibi? – Betsy Lewin

• Del Amor y Otros Demonios - Gabriel García Márquez
• Doce Cuentos Peregrinos – Gabriel García Márquez
• Ego Sum Pinochet – Raquel Correa y Elizabeth Subercaseaux
• Lenin - ¿Qué Hacer¿
• Muerte en el Pentagonito – Ricardo Uceda

EASTER ACTIVITIES

Have fun during Easter holidays!!!!!!

http:\\theholidayspot.com/easter
http:\\funschool.kaboose.com/fun.blaster/easter/
http:\\holidays.kaboose.com/spring/easter/html

ANOTHER JOKE!!

TECH SUPPORT

Dear Tech Support,
Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slowdown in the overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry application that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, but installed undesirable programs such as NFL 5.0 and NBA 3.0. and now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I´ve tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed, Desperate

REPLAY:
Dear Desperate,
First, keep in mind Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Try entering the command C:\I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0. If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5. But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.9 or Beer 6.1. Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will create Snoring Loudly wav file. Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0. In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Food 3.0 and Lingerie 6.9.

@ tech support – suporte técnico
@ upgraded – atualizei a versão
@ slowdown in the overall performance – lentidão no desempenho geral
@ jewelry – joias
@ applications – funções
@ operated flawlessly – funcionavam perfeitamente
@ un-installed many other valuable programs – desinstalou muitos outros programas muito úteis
@ NFL – acrônimo de National Football League – Liga Nacional de Futebol Americano
@ NBA – acrônimo de National Basketball Association – Associação Nacional de Basquete
@ no longer runs – não Rod mais
@ crashes the system – dá pau no sistema
@ nagging – pegar no pé
@ but to no avail – mas sem resultado
@ desperate – desesperada
@ reply – resposta
@ keep in mind – lembre-se
@ entertainment package – produto para entretenimento
@ operating system – sistema operacional
@ try entering the command – tente digitar o commando
@ tears – lágrimas
@ guilt – culpa
@ if all works as designed – se tudo funcionar como deveria
@ overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence – excesso de uso pode deixar o programa Marido 1.0 em estado de Silêncio Mal-humorado
@ Snoringloudly – RoncandoALto
@ mother-in-law – sogra
@ in summary – em resumo
@ you might consider – você pode considerar a ideia de instalar

Sorria, Você Está Praticando Inglês!
Mark G. Nash and Willians Ramos Ferreira

A JOKE

MODERN LIFE

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING THE MODERN LIFE WHEN ...

1. You accidentally enter your pin on the microwave.
2. You haven´t played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.
4. You e–mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don´t have e-mail addresses …
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn´t have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile.
12. You´re reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn´t a #9 on this list.

@ enter your pin - digite a sua senha
@ haven´t played solitaire – não joga paciência
@ reach – contactar
@ at the desk next to you – na mesa ao seu lado
@ staying in touch with friends and family - manter contato com os amigos e a família
@ pull up in your driveway – estacionar o carro na sua própria vaga
@ help you carry in the groceries – ajudá-lo a carregar as compras de supermercado para dentro
@ at the bottom of the screen – na parte de baixo da tela
@ a cause for panic – motivo de pânico
@ turn around to go and get it – faz meia-volta para ir buscá-lo
@ go on line – conecta na net
@ tilting your head sideways – inclinar a cabeça para o lado
@ nodding and laughing – concordando e rindo
@ even worse – pior ainda
@ forward this message – encaminhar esta mensagem
@ scrolled back up – rolar a tela (do computador) para cima

Sorria, você está praticando inglês!
Mark G. Nash e Willians Ramos Ferreira